How to know what you want

In response to my last blog, Two secrets to getting what you want, a very dear friend asked: “How do you know what you want?”

Two possible answers:

1. People really do know what they want but out of fear or some other emotion, they do not follow their heart and, instead, engage in other activities (you’ve got to be doing something, right?) but none of those ever feel quite right. When this occurs, the ensuing frustration is viewed as indecisiveness.

2. A person may actually be doing what they want but think they should be doing more or something different. The perceived expectations of others (e.g., family, friends, society) is what is clouding a person’s vision of what they want or how they want to live.

For this final point, I recall the very old, very bad movie, Lifeguard. It was about an aging lifeguard on the beaches of Southern California. He attended a high school reunion, hooked up with an old girlfriend, and she convinced him that, at his age, he really should be doing more serious work and, certainly, making more money. He took a job as a salesman at a car dealership. He was miserable. He returned to being a lifeguard. The movie ended with a glorious sunset, of course, signifying all is right in his world; this last sentence being a really important point. It was right in his specific world; not Susie’s, Jimmy's, or Harry's world, but all was right in the lifeguard’s world.

It’s not that people don’t know what they want, they just the need the courage to live what they want.