The significance of Gianni: A reminder of the power of flow.

Gianni is my beautiful and intelligent niece. Currently finishing up an undergrad degree before going onto her doctorate work in Psychology/Criminal Justice, Gianni reminds me that, sometimes, we all, even the ones making claims, need to be reminded of our own messages. In a recent email from my lovely niece, she recalled something I said to her many years ago …

She writes, “… you always told me that whatever I do in life, to make sure that I absolutely love it!! I think you called it something, anyway, you said I would know what it is when I get so wrapped up in it, that time seems to disappear, and I become transformed into this tunnel-vision that puts me on this whole other level. You told me that was my passion and I should follow it”.

She is writing about being in the state of flow. Author Mihaly Csikzentmihalyi defines and elaborates on this concept in his book, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. In flow, time is suspended and work is seemingly effortless. It also signifies that we are on the right track in doing what we are intended to do. Unfortunately, we sometimes find that our circumstances – or fears – keep driving us to work that we will never, ever be immersed in or committed to. This is a cautionary tale, then, for those who wish to jam square pegs into round holes as a means to simply make a living. If this is the case, optimal experiences will be few and far between and that certainly isn’t a life.

Why do so many avoid living in a flow state? It may be because of the perceived sacrifices this conjures, especially if the career you truly need produces a different lifestyle than you now enjoy. This is how the term, golden handcuffs, came about; people locked into jobs they dislike but do it because it generates a nice lifestyle. That’s fine if attaining a particular lifestyle is your only goal. I prefer, however, to believe people are looking for that right fit career where flow is not just an occasional experience but a lifetime of total immersion and governed by their own standards. As Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (1990) wrote:

The solution is to gradually become free of societal rewards and learn how to substitute for them rewards that are under one's own powers. This is not to say that we should abandon every goal endorsed by society; rather, it means that, in addition to or instead of the goals others use to bribe us with, we develop a set of our own.

Who is responsible for your learning?

You may be thinking the obvious – you, right? As much as I believe everyone is accountable for their on-going learning, there is another dimension to the learning process when it comes to learning within an organization.

When working at Security Associates International, one of my chief requirements for new salespeople was for them to attend the same training as the company’s alarm monitoring staff. This training was for front-line personnel who answered and dispatched on alarm calls. It was also the very essence of the service that was sold. After salespeople completed training, I would administer a test to see what they retained as well as what they did not. This ensured that, once out there on their own, they would not be misrepresenting the services sold. To me, conducting the training this way seemed pretty elementary. Test to verify and make corrections where needed. Not all managers agree with this process. I think of the number of times I have received training or was availed of online learning tools and no one checked my comprehension or, in some cases, if I had even accessed the online learning tools that were available.

According to the American Society for Training and Development, in 2008, companies spent $58.5 billion on training. These are not small potatoes. Managers who hope for the best in training without verifying are missing some real opportunities for engaging employees and seeing them through to success. Read Jeffrey Berks’ article, The Manager's Responsibility for Employee Learning, to learn why it is essential that managers pay close attention to employee learning.

What does Doctors Without Borders have to do with career intentions?

In a blog about career intent, it may seem out-of-place to discuss an organization such as Doctors Without Borders. It is not that DWB isn’t a good and admirable place to have a career (not to mention, my favorite organization) but I am writing about them today because of the people they serve.

Be thankful for choices.

No doubt, in the U.S., there is higher than usual unemployment, many companies have all but stopped hiring, and everyone who is looking for work has even lots more to contend with than they did only a short time ago. But, if you put it all into perspective, you may realize just how far ahead of the game you actually are.

In perusing the Doctors Without Borders' website recently, I was overwhelmed by the catastrophes, civil unrest, disease, and maltreatment that citizens throughout the world endure and DWB staff and volunteers confront on a daily basis. One of the chief reasons I support DWB is because, unlike us, the people they serve don’t have choices. These people aren’t just out of work or looking for a fulfilling career. For many, they are stuck in Maslow’s first hierarchal need – basic survival – and they will likely be at this level until the day they die. They are born into war, violence, and poverty, living their lives under dictators and murderers. Getting a new job will not be the answer to their problems.

All of this got me thinking about the stress and frustration any one of us may feel when finding ourselves working for the wrong company, our work is dull, or we don’t feel fulfilled. When considering moving out or on, you may experience trepidation even though you know you must if you are ever to realize your career aspirations. If this is ever the case, that you feel fear in the face of pursuing the career that is right for you, I invite you to spend a few minutes reading some of the stories on the web pages at Doctors Without Borders. I promise that your perspective on the choices you have and the ability to do something about making those changes will not feel so insurmountable after all.

Reinvent yourself or self-actualize? Stop futzing around and become who you were intended to become.

Several years ago at some luncheon, I was seated next to a sales rep from Sports Illustrated magazine. He was in his early 30’s and, by most standards, financially successful. Our discussion led us to travel. I told him about my adventures of living on the island of Guam and, later, in Switzerland. He let out an audible sigh and lamented how he wished he could just pack up and go live in Paris. Underneath it all, he was an artist and his cushy life as a media rep just wasn’t cutting it.

Our neighbor spent several years working as a stock broker. His heart, however, was at sea where he had, for many years, before kids and mortgages, captained his own charter boat. One day, he up and quit his job, bought a catamaran in Tortola, and, to this day, runs charters through the British Virgin Islands. He recently returned from a transatlantic sail to Gibraltar. He doesn’t have the best cars, most fantastic house, or even a huge bank account but I can tell you, he is happy.

I think we humans are a convincing lot. We convince ourselves that, despite our burning dreams of becoming news anchors, writers, painters, or boat captains, when we become accountants, lawyers, or salespeople, it is somehow alright because we have achieved the best cars, largest homes, and fattest bank accounts. American dream and all that.

But there may come a time when you begin to think, and as the song goes, “Is that all there is?” I’m not talkin’ volume here but rather, asking, is this what my life has been reduced to? A car, a building, some cash? Where’s the adventure, romance, satisfaction?

When we read or hear about reinventing ourselves, it is almost as though we are required to come up with something new about ourselves. I don’t think this could be farther from the truth. I believe we are who we are from the start. The burning desire of being a news anchor, painter, writer, or boat captain was always there. And each of us knows why and how we got derailed and those reasons aren’t nearly as important as making plans to get back on track. It’s not time to reinvent yourself but time to self-actualize.

Famed psychologist, Abraham Maslow, in his Hierarchy of Needs, tells us there are several “needs” stages people must resolve before reaching what he termed, “peak experiences”. They are:

1. Basic survival – This is food, clothing, and shelter. If you are concerned about meeting these needs, this is where you will place your entire focus and cannot move onto the next stage until these issues have been satisfied.

2. Safety – Not entirely about feeling physically safe but is about feelings of comfort and believing you have some control over your life.

3. Esteem – This is about securing a place in your world where your esteem and belonging needs are met. We find this is in our community, at work, and in our family.

4. Self-actualization – Few seem to reach this level in which you are able to express your very essence. Operating at this level has you align your activities with your values, morals, and principles.

5. Peak experiences – Frequently referred to as being in “flow” state, reaching and then maintaining your life at this level has you living the life that was intended for you. In conducting your daily activities, time is of little notice. Everything you do, when aligned with your purpose, is seemingly effortless. Performing at this level has little to do with material rewards expectations. This does not mean rewards don’t come along, but activities at this level are not performed solely for the sake of receiving a bigger paycheck or having the ability to buy a boat. It is about living life by your standards.

There will be no shortage of articles on reinventing yourself. In fact, as of today, if you Google “reinvent yourself”, there are 803,000 websites that will give you some advice. But that’s not where you need to look. For the real answer, just look inside.